Reality Hits Home...

Well I must be out of my mind. Here's me thinking that excercise was gonna be easy. Oh thats so far from reality, i must live in a dream world. I was so excited about running The Trim Trail, i'd brought new trainers, some gorgeous jogging bottoms- which are a little revealing when they ride up, we've all heard the expression camel toe- and i got a new Lonsdale top which has a perfect pocket for my I Pod. I fill in my diet diary and sit and wait for my husband to get in from work. His office and workshop is about 200yrds from our front door so he won't be long. i'm excited i keep thinking of the pounds just dropping off me!! i start warming up, you know doing a few strecthes the odd lunge. He gets in i swipe his watch for the stop watch and away i go. Like i said before i wanted to jog in the dark, the trim trail is lit all the way round but i wanted as much damage control as possible so i wasn't gonna risk people seeing me so i waited til it got dark. An its such a good job people didn't see me because they would have just laughed. My dear husband told me the trail was a bout 2 miles long, try about 20!!! Ok i am exageratting but i'm a woman and i can.
I set off, put an upbeat song on my I Pod, i was convinecd hat the music would urge me on. An if i'm honest it did, i was feeling good. i was running and the wind was blasting my face and blowing me back, i was running on bark so i was feeling the burn. i felt liked i'd gone miles and realised i hadn't gone that far at all. i trudged on and if i'm honest the pace had slowed and was now a risk walk, i was puffing and panting and could murder a fag. Eventually i gave in, i came off the track at the next opportunity. I walked back home feeling a little sorry formyself, i got in looked at my husband and just walked upstairs. I tried my best to keep my dignity in front of my man and managed to push out 60 sit ups. I've definitely realised that its gonna take time. I'm ready for that now and i'm gonna do it. I came downstairs after a long soak, had a tiny dinner which if i'm honest just didn't fill me. I could have eaten a scabby horse with a side order of scabs. I watch a little tv then decide its time for bed. An thats when it starts, my loving husband gets into bed with a sweet snack. He doesnt realsie that at that moment in time i would have actually considered a divorce. He sits there eating his chocolate and casualy talking to me about his day, not realising how cruel he's being. We lie down to go to sleep and thats when i hear them, there shouting me. I toss and turn and decide to ignore the urge to go downstairs. I can't nod off so i grab my book, maybe a chapter or two will help me relax. An before i know it i'm downstairs sat on the sofa with a Ferrero Rocher in my hand. How have i got here? I feel like a mad person. I start to unwrap the chocolate an my concious gets the better of me-thank god!! I start telling myself that if i eat this gorgeous choc that i'd be letting myself down, that all my hard work will be for nothing. An if i eat it i'll never loose any weight!! I couldn't think of what to do next so i'd just have to be satisfied with just sitting there and sniffing the wrapper, i must have been sat there for a good 15 minutes and thats when i realised that i was actually losing my sanity. Reality had definietly hit home.

Surprisingly i am even more determined to do well with this diet now. No more lapses in sanity and no more sniffing chocolate. Its just another New Years Resolution I've made. Quite sensible i think! Wish me luck. x x x